What is an injury you have incurred in an embarrassing or stupid way? Was it due to your own clumsiness? A bad decision? A momentary lack of common sense? Details! Details! :)
Have a Happy First of May!
The first of May is just another day in the United States. But here, in Finland, it is recognized as a national holiday. I'm not sure where it originates or what it celebrates exactly (I think the coming of spring?), but I know that most people get today off from work and if you do work, you get paid double. Basically, I'm gathering that maybe this holiday is just an excuse to get together with your friends and family and do a little partying. Sounds a little bit like Mardi Gras. Most people begin the celebration the night of April 30 and carry it on to the next day. My teammates and I have a scrimmage tonight against a local boys team so we could not get too crazy last night in participating in all the festivities. Instead, some of us went to my teammate Carro's summer home to enjoy the scenery, grill out, laugh, relax in the sauna, and do a little swimming.
Though the island is starting warm up significantly (the temperature reached a high of 15 degrees Celsius yesterday...I think this is equivalent to the upper 50's in Fahrenheit, so pretty warm!), once the evening rolls around it becomes quite chilly again.
Does everyone remember winter bathing? Well, I didn't exactly bust through a meter of ice to dip in ridiculously cold water, but I think that what I did yesterday is close enough.
After enjoying a delicious meal of fresh greens, potato salad, and hot dogs (NOT in burrito form), some of us decided to crowd into the sauna Carro's family has built off the side of their home. I've been in saunas before in the US and a few times since I've been here, but this one was certainly the tiniest of any of them. It was not much bigger than a couple of telephone booths stacked side-by-side. I sat on the top bench, squeezed between Eve and Sarah, and tried not let any discomfort take control of me.
Breathe, Becca. Breathe. This is relaxing. This is nice. Don't think about the fact that you are stuffed in a small, crowded, dark, stiflingly hot, wooden box with thick and un-breathable steam for air. Look at Eve. She loves it. You should love it too.
Evelina is from the mainland of Finland which automatically makes her tough. The main-landers can out-drink and outwork anyone and without a trace of struggle. She loves the sauna. And it can never be too hot.
Someone threw more water on the coals and the heat instantly struck my face like a hot frying pan. "Ah!" I said in surprise and immediately covered my face with my hands for protection. I then heard Eve let out a laugh--or more of a cackle, I should say. I removed my hands and looked up at her through the steam. She was completely amused by my rookie reaction as she leaned comfortably against the back wall. She might as well have been lounging in a La-Z-Boy armchair in front of the television.
"More heat," she demanded in her heavy accent. An evil grin spread across her face and I couldn't help but picture devil's horns growing out of her head. This was hell and she loved it. I put my hands in my lap and attempted her same casual position and visage.
"Yeah," I said. "More heat." But I'm not sure anyone bought my poker face.
Three minutes later I was done.
"Forget this. Let's go swimming."
Sarah and Eve followed me down to the inlet which stretches up through the woods to Carro's property (See picture below!). We were wrapped tightly in our towels and shivered as we approached the water's edge. Carro, Nicco, Mina, and Åsa joined but only to observe, not participate. This was probably smart.
Sarah dipped her toe in the water. "Ah!" she shrieked and then said something in Swedish. I took it to mean that the water was really cold. Eve tried it too and had the same reaction. We all stood on the bank and looked at each other. Who's going first?
"Try it," Sarah said, meaning that I should also dip my toe to test the temperature. But I am a firm believer that dipping doesn't help anything. Dipping the toe only gives you a taste of how miserable your entire body is going to be once you completely submerge yourself. Dipping only increases the fear and wait time before actually entering the water. I never dip because if I know before hand how cold it is, then I may never go. Go big or go home.
"Screw it," I said as I tossed my towel aside and attempted to run straight into the water.
I say "attempted" because that's exactly what it was. An attempt. I got to where the water was about two feet deep and could no longer move. I discovered that the floor of the inlet wasn't sand or seaweed but deep, sticky mud. My legs were stuck like two hot dogs in mashed potatoes and shrimp salad. The mud came up to my knees and the water on top came to my hips. I wrestled one leg free to take another step forward but was suddenly struck with a terrible aroma. "Oh my god! It smells!"
Think of the thickest, softest, smelliest mud you can imagine. Think "poop" and you'll have a pretty good idea of the malodorous paste in which I was trudging. Each struggle for a step caused the mud to whirl in a dark cloud in the water, releasing its terrible stench. I don't know if it was actually poop or not. I think I'd rather put that on the list of things that are better left unknown.
"Keep going!" my teammates yelled and laughed from the bank, encouraging me to continue into the cold water.
"I'm trying! I can't really move!"
"Well you have to get down! Get in the water! They'll see you!" Sarah shouted.
I forgot to mention that I was naked. Here in Finland, I have discovered, there is a common who-wears-anything-while-swimming-? mentality. I'm sorry if my being in the nude is too much information but I would really like you to get a sense of how undignified this situation was. So there I was, in my birthday suit, stuck knee deep in mud, with cold, dirty water up to hips, shivering and cowered over. And now, Sarah had just said, "They'll see you."
"What!? Who?"
I had thought we were alone.
"Them!" Sarah pointed to what I previously assumed was an empty home across the inlet.
I squinted. Oh. There they were. Two people on leaning on the railing of their balcony. Apparently everyone else already knew they were there, but that was communicated in Swedish.
"Shit!" I shouted.
I was faced with a decision. I could either A) immediately get down in the water, thus sinking my naked ass into the dirty, probably parasite-and-leech-infested poop-mud, or I could B) continue the slow struggle through the mud to deeper water, completely visible to the onlookers but in hopes that I was far enough away that they wouldn't be able to tell that I wasn't wearing a bathing suit.
I chose option B. I don't know if they could see me or not. But I think I'd rather put that on the list of things that are better left unknown.
Sarah and Eve joined me and we made our way out to deeper water. We got to a level where we could bend our knees and dip down without sitting in the mud. We splashed around for a minute with the water up to our shoulders and then, as quickly as we could, made our way back through the muck to the bank and our towels. Suddenly the warm sauna sounded quite nice.
We washed off our dirty feet and reentered the sauna. I was leaning against the wall and actually enjoying the warmth when I realized that my heel on my right foot hurt. I felt the bottom of my foot, which was still a bit dirty, and brushed away some of the filth. But something wasn't brushing away. I got up and stepped outside so I could see my foot in the light.
As it turns out, a small rock had lodged itself into my heel. I guess my feet have become so calloused from years of playing soccer that I didn't even feel it when it happened. I dug at it for a bit and was finally able to remove it from the slit it created in my foot. It was small and didn't really hurt, so it wasn't that big of a deal, but it was kind of deep and pretty dirty. The last thing I need is an infected cut on my foot.
I jumped in the shower in an unsuccessful attempt to wash it out then asked Sarah and Carro if there was any peroxide or Neosporin or anything else to clean it up.
Carro ran into the kitchen and came back with something better: Tequila.
I laughed. "Are you serious?"
I guess when you are in a cabin the the middle of the woods in Finland and you hurt yourself, this is what you do.
"Haha. All right. Whatever."
I sat at the table and twisted my leg around while Nurse Sarah attempted mini-surgery by pouring tequila into my tiny wound and using a sewing needle to remove the dirt. But we still couldn't get it. The opening of the cut was too small and the the dirt was deep enough that it made it very difficult to remove. We also didn't know if perhaps it was still just a piece of rock stuck inside.
The girls suggested that I go to the hospital to get it cleaned out. I initially refused, embarrassed to go to the hospital for a tiny excuse for a cut. They called Lena, our trainer, who agreed that I should go just to make sure it was clean. So we went and after a 5 minute visit with the doctor, my foot was good to go.
What a day!
Don't forget today's question for the reader! And enjoy these pictures from yesterday!
Eve and Nicco
Mina, me, and Eve
I feel like I should show you a normal picture of Åsa before you see these next ones. Haha.
This is me at the hospital, pretending to be in excruciating pain as the doctor looks at my foot.
14 comments:
OMG Becca that WOULD happen to you! haha! Good to see nothing's changed!
That property is so gorgeous! Good to see you're having fun! We miss you!! Much love!
I seriously snort-laughed like three or four times while reading that. How do you get yourself in those positions?! I know, I know, you're thinking, "...and also."
My dumbest injury has to be the time I broke my right hand at a soccer practice. As it turns out, I am a little competitive, and in this drill I felt like I let in one too many soft goals. Did I refocus? No. I punched the goal post. I knew immediately I had broken it, but I was too embarrassed to tell my coach so I kept playing. He figured out something was wrong when I yelped every time I made a save.
Six weeks on the bench. No more soccer that season. Missed the playoffs. The term "douchebag" comes to mind.
I swear I'll get a new post up soon. I'm almost done with the rig stories, but it's going to be looooooong.
You look great and like you're having almost too much fun!
I went bowling once (last night) and my jeans caught on the back of my bowling shoes and I slipped past the fault line and cracked the ball on my right knee and sliced the inside of my left ankle with the tip of my bowling shoe as I end up 5 feet down the lane and the laughing stock of the bowling alley.
Who ever thought bowling would be dangerous?
Bec, As your paternal influence I should chastise you for public indecency, thermal exposure, muck near-drowning and pedal cellulitis. However, I found the whole adventure so hilarious that I can't condemn you. As you know my most moronic injury was when I was standing on top of a ten foot ladder trimming a tree when the ladder leaned hard left and I was vaulted towards cranial injury when I jumped off and crushed my calcaneous (heel). Two plates and eight screws later,I was forced to perform 43 heart surgeries while kneel standing on a moblle cart, that I also wheeled around the hospital on in quite brisk fashion, all the while listening to smart arses critique me as too cheap to hire the work done. Since then I have enjoyed many a ladder tree trimming session. Glad you're having so much fun with nice friends! Love, Dad
So, my next needless injury will be this... I bet 2 army girls in my class that Olson and I (navy) would beat them in a marathon. Olson is a 220lb 6'5" center... he doesn't run. The girls both ran cross country for their respective colleges. We are training, I am making him miserable with sprint programs, 10 mile runs and steady state bike rides. If the training doesn't kill him and I, the race will. I know we will go out hard and die. I will have some sort of hip/shin injury before this is all said and done.
My past stupidest injury came while skiing. I was needlessly trash talking to good friend Jonathan which led to him and I racing down the mountain, except for I was wearing his snowboard and he was wearing my skies. I was winning, and while looking back, pointing at him and laughing, I caught an edge. I fell backwards and I broke my elbow. It was fun.
My needless injury was a broken wrist. I was in 4th grade and my sister and I were swinging and decided to see who could jump the farthest. So we were pumping really hard and got the swings going high into the air and took our jumps. However, when I landed, I came down on my wrist and broke it. No big deal, except I thought I would be in trouble so I went inside and hid it from my parents. I laid on my arm to try and straighten it out, but it wasn't happening. I would lay on it and then take a look at it and it was still crooked. My sister told my Dad. He called for me and wanted to see my arm, so I showed him my good one. Then he asked to see the other one. I showed him. I did not get in trouble, but went to the emergency room and got a cast put on.
HAHAHA
You sound like mom in that sauna, "I can't breath! I can't breath!"
I'm so jealous of these crazy stories, sounds like you are having such an incredible time. I already love these Swedish people (or are they Alandians?) without having to meet them.
My worst injury? Well, besides the obvious one, I'd say when I broke my nose a little bit some years back. Don't think mom and dad know about that infraction. I was a sophmore and I challenged this pretty big guy in our house to fight me. Needless to say I was hammered, and I dove at him, after which he simply moved aside a foot or two. I ended up smashing my face into the wall, there was blood everywhere. I woke up without remembering the incident, and then when I looked in the mirror it all came back to me, "What the hell happened to my face??" I think it just reaffirmed the Robison nose accentuation (is that a word?), so I look like I always did.
And mom and dad, I still make mistakes here or there, but I'm nowhere near that level of idiocy anywmore, so don't put too much weight into the story.
Doug- Haha. That's pretty moronic. I'm sure you immediately regretted that decision. That's why you've got the wonky knuckle now, right?
Just checked your blog...still says "The Fainter." ...I'm just sayin'... ;)
Benny- Hahaha. I really would have loved to see that. Hope you're okay though. :)
Dad- Of course I will never forget the ladder incident...or the flippy cup victory against Dr. Lav not too longer after, when you pumped your mobile cart above your head while the entire room chanted "Scooter! Scooter! Scooter!" Hahaha. Even though you were injured, you were still the MVP. :)
Pierre-
You know I love the skiing story. One of my favorites. What about the time you tried to impress a girl on a first date, iceskating, by doing a rollerblading trick that doesn't exactly transfer onto the ice? I seem to recall you doing and accidental flip and landing on your back...and that you couldn't really walk for the next week. Haha
Good luck in the marathon!
Mom- Haha yes I remember that story. Bones don't just straighten back out when you lie on them? :)
Davey- Technically, they are Finnish but speak Swedish. But most would identify themselves as being Alanders.
Hilarious story about the drunken wall charge...since you are okay, of course. It's so funny that mom and dad never noticed the nose...I guess having the Robison nose by genetics has been good for at least one of us. :)
Hello there... I believe you already know what story I'm going to write... :)
So, we had a pretty serious night of drinking one time last year. I woke up the next morning and basically fell out of bed, realizing that I mysteriously could not put any weight on my left foot. After I crawled out to the living room and took a good look at my swollen and bruised foot, I surmised that this was probably not looking so good. My roommate, Leslie, then came out of her room with her hand over her mouth. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she chipped her two front teeth sometime the previous night and could not recall how. I then showed her my mess of a foot and told her that I also had no recollection of this. When we asked her boyfriend if he knew what was up, he just shook his head at us and said, "It was probably all that karate you guys were doing that night." Long story short, I ended up wearing a walking cast for 6 weeks, she had to get veneers, and we never 100% remembered the truth about what happened that night.
I think it is safe to say that is one of the craziest and most ridiculous things I have ever done!
I love these stories of yours... keep it up! :)
well iv been guite lucky with the broken bones. when i was working at dupont school .i was walking into the dish room and a hard plastic dish rack fell on my foot and it really hurt but i finished out the day . then went to the emergency room and it was broken so they put a boot on me. and i went back to work the next day. and that's my story and im sticking to it lol....love...grandma
verve for narratives-great post. that mud sounds foul. people you've met seem cool. it's much better w pictures btw even if they are annoying to post.
2 dumb injuries - (1) 2000 knee surgery from falling out of a loft at school and (2) 2.4.07 elbow fracture falling down stairs after colts super bowl.
hahaha i am probably going to get fired because i have been reading this at work, trying to suppress my convulsive laughter.
so my most needless injury, while not physically painful, occurred when a precious lock of my hair had to be amputated.
as you may recall, we were on our way to a classy blacktie dinner (or actually the indiana state fair shhh) when elise gustafson needed to dispose of her gum ngaak. instead of putting it back in the wrapper, or in a trashcan, or swallowing it, she tried to throw it out of my open window where, oddly enough, the rushing wind forced it back into the car. i felt something strike my head and there was a big spitty wad entangled in my hair.
long story short, we had to cut it out with a pocket knife and kerry had 'chest hair' for the remainder of the evening.
miss you bec! xoxo, lauren
p.s. i just tried to make a blogger id called 'everyonecallsmezac' but i couldn't get it to work! =(!
Hahaha! Dorfy! I will never forget the gum-in-hair night on the way to the Indiana State Fair. Hahahaha
I wasn't with you all, but I remember that night. You all were laughing so much when you got home. Who knew a strand of "chest hair" would have been so much fun. I also wanted to bring up another injury of yours that is very vivid in my mind,,, maybe because it was ironed on a t-shirt. A very swollen ankle! I miss Becca and all of you hanging out here.
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